Writing Growth

Sometimes the kids are pretty frustrating. At the start of the first quarter, most of the kids couldn't write a coherent sentence. I scratched all my beautiful writing projects I had planned for the first quarter and just tried to get them to write. Class C has a lot of readers and writers. Class B is just a nightmare. Class A is not the brightest out of the 3 sections, but it also is the class that shows the most progress. They are becoming my best writers because they are really learning how to write.

I want to share an example of writing growth in one particular student. We began the activity by reading Never Bring Your Elephant To School and discussed pros and cons. Then the students made lists for bringing an animal of their choice to school. They had to pick a total of 6 pros and cons combined. In the next class, I told them to take 4 of the pros and cons and write 4 separate paragraphs. They thought I had given them a death sentence.

This is the first draft of one student: (Spelling is left as it appears in his notebook, minus the ones that auto-correct fixed.)

I would like to bring a cockroach to school.

If I brought a cockroach to school the teacher will get freacket out and dismiss us early. Everybody will thank me for it. And everybody will need to tell me that they need him.

(Describe the teacher using verbs and sound effects.)

And if I  bring a cockroach to school the school bully will totally be freaked out. And he will promise to never bully again. So nobody’s lunch money or life will never get bulied again.

(Why would the bully get freaked out? Would you throw the roach at him? Try to describe the situation.)

I am not sure if I can bring a cockroach to school because somebody might kill him. I will be very x 1,000,000 sad. If they do they will feel my wrath. (except Joshua of course).

(How would it get killed?)

I am also not sure if I should bring it because I will not be appresheated anymore. And my friends will alwas stay away from me and never like me again. And the teacher might give me detention.

(Why would they stay away? How would you feel about detention?)

(Your writing is really improving! Your details all support your topic sentences. Try to add some more descriptive words to your details. Avoid starting all your sentences with ‘and’.)

The comments in red were what I added in the margins of his notebook. I gave it back to him and told him to read my comments and see what he could add. Below is his second draft. (I'm sorry to say that in his enthusiasm, his spelling, grammar, and punctuation went out the window.)

I would like to bring a coackroach to school

If I brought a cockroach to school the teacher might get freaked out she’ll scream so loud like AAAAHHHHH! while running around in circles. She might even dismiss us early. Every body might thank me for it and carry me to the Hallway shouting Bryce x5.

Alsow if I brought a coachroach to school. I will freak out the school bully by throwing the coackroach. He will scream to deth like AHHHH (girl scream). I will tell him “He will not stop until you will stop bullying.” He will say “Ok’ Ok Ok I will stop.

Mabby I should not bring a coackroach to school. Somebody might step on him really hard he/she might not notice it is stuck on his/her shoe. I might stay in school finding him.

Maby I should also not bring a cockroach to school because everybody will hate me. They might get grossed out and faint. Alsow when the next teacher comes in she’ll see him and give me 2 hour DETENTION.

Maybe there's hope after all for these kids. :) Maybe they'll be ready for 4th grade after all.